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I had been staring at the text on my phone for almost ten minutes and I still couldn’t believe what I was reading.
Looking forward to this weekend.
It was from Scott.
And on the weekend was my parents’ annual Christmas party.
He’d never been invited before.
Usually it was family and friends, people who lived close.
Not Scott Banks.
He wasn’t invited.
He couldn’t be invited.
I hadn’t heard from him since I’d left his hotel room after the vow renewal.
No texts, no calls.
I’d slowly begun to accept that we were, for want of a better phrase, friends with benefits.
Less than that actually, since we were hardly even friends.
He was – just – my dad’s friend who I occasionally fucked.
Very unromantic, very unfriendly.
But if it was so meaningless, then why did five goddamn words make my heart beat faster? And not just that.
They made me feel guilty, made me furtively glance around the office as if someone was watching me and knew what I was doing.
Not that I had anything to feel guilty about.
We were two adults.
We could do what we wanted.
Well, so long as my parents didn’t find out.
It was Monday – just over a week since I’d left him asleep in his hotel room.
The weekend suddenly seemed very far away.
I looked at my schedule; all the things I had to do before I’d see him again.
So much time.
The party was on Saturday night.
I hadn’t even decided what to wear yet.
*** All week, he sent me video clips.
Men restraining women.
God, porn is such a nasty thing.
You know how wrong it is and yet you simply can’t stop watching it.
I’d play the videos over and over, trying to stop myself from enjoying them.
It was so much harder than I’d thought.
And what made it even more so, was the knowledge that soon enough Scott would show up in person.
No videos, no texts, just him.
By the time the night of the party arrived, my stomach was in knots.
I got home and took a long hot shower before slipping into a short, black party dress.
I did my makeup and spent half an hour debating over which shoes to wear.
Did it matter? Of course it mattered.
Even though it was a regular party at my parents’ house, everything would be changed by the mere presence of Scott.
I tried not to think of him but it was impossible.
Half of me felt like staying home.
Maybe he wouldn’t want me anymore.
Maybe he wasn’t going to show up.
After all, he’d been to New York two times already in the last month.
Surely it’d be weird for him to show up again for a low-key Christmas party.
I got into the back of a cab and made small talk with the driver.
I don’t remember what I said.
I was so preoccupied, it could have been anything.
I was late.
I scanned the crowds of people dispersed around the house.
I didn’t see him.
Was I relieved? Or disappointed? I checked my phone.
My brother came up and handed me a drink, told me about his overpriced babysitter and his fear that his hair was falling out.
I told him it looked great, which it did.
He took my coat and went to hang it up.
Then I saw Scott.
He was with someone.
I leaned against the wall, desperately hoping I would somehow sink into it.
Maybe there was the door to a secret passage behind me and I could end up in a bar in Manhattan with lots and lots of alcohol.
Scott was coming over.
I couldn’t pretend I hadn’t seen him.
The wall refused to give way.
I straightened up.
“Hey,” I said casually, as though I was a girl whose senses hadn’t gone away for the holidays.
“Hey, Ally,” He smiled at me.
Our eyes met.
It made my knees weak.
I tore my eyes away from his to look at the woman next to him.
She looked to be in her mid-thirties and was wearing a white, lacy dress.
On anyone else, it would’ve looked too summery, too wedding-y but she looked perfect.
I wanted to hate her but her smile was way too nice.
“This is Amber Lake,” Scott said.
“Oh,” I tried for a smile.
” “Lovely to meet you, Ally,” Her voice was warm.
She leaned in for an awkward hug.
Strangers don’t hug.
She smelled incredible.
I found myself praying she was his sister or cousin or that she was into women or something, anything that could stop the two of them being an item.
“We work together back home,” Scott explained.
I still wasn’t satisfied.
“Right,” Amber laughed.
“Only he doesn’t actually work.
He just walks around looking important.
” She tucked a loose strand of honey-blonde hair behind her ear.
She looked so goddamn Californian.
Tanned and thin and healthy and chilled-out and beautiful.
“I’m a swimming teacher,” she clarified.
“That’s – nice,” I smiled.
Weren’t swimmers meant to be fat? Or at least have bad hair? “You never said you were bringing anyone,” I said to Scott.
“Not that it matters.
The more the merrier, right?” “Right,” Scott said, frowning at me.
“That’s probably my fault,” Amber cut in.
She looked vaguely worried.
“I only came over here to visit a relative and I wasn’t doing anything tonight so Scott invited me over here.
” “Your dad knows her,” Scott said to me.
“In fact, he’ll probably be made up when he realises you’re here, Amber.
” “I’ll go tell him,” I said brightly, and hurried away to avoid further awkward conversation.
Why did I care so much? He was allowed to have friends.
We weren’t a couple.
He could do whatever the hell he wanted.
I downed my drink and put the glass down hard in the kitchen.
I found my father regaling guests with the story of how he and my mother had met.
Everybody knew the story.
The whole goddamn world knew how my parents had met.
I caught his elbow, made some excuses and steered him away.
“Scott’s here,” I said breezily.
“And some woman called Amber.
Apparently you know her.
” Dad looked at me expectantly.
“They’re here together? Do you think they’re together together?” He literally rubbed his hands with excitement.
“Those two sure would make a great couple.
” I gulped.
“What?!” He frowned at me.
“Don’t you agree?” “I hardly know either of them,” I said, a little too defensively.
“Well, take my word for it.
Where the hell are they anyway?” I pointed them out across the room and watched as he went over.
A couple? What the hell did Dad know? Amber looked way too nice for Scott.
And yet, the more I watched them, the edgier I became.
They did seem to get on very well.
And Scott behaved differently around her than he did around other women.
He was more careful, like he was trying too hard.
It was surreal to watch.
I couldn’t watch.
I went back into the kitchen and fixed myself another drink, heavy on the rum, light on the coke.
I sipped at it and tried to concentrate on what someone was telling me about their child’s carol-singing talent.
I was eventually saved by none other than Amber Lake who apparently had a very pressing question to ask me.
“What is it?” I asked, a little anxiously.
“Oh, nothing,” she said, guiding me away.
“You just looked like you were losing the will to live,” I laughed.
” I noticed that her eyes were green.
People with green eyes are always prettier than regular people.
“So, you managed to escape Scott?” I asked lightly.
How long have you known him?” “Oh.
Well, not long,” I said, quite honestly, “He’s friends with my dad.
We only met a month ago.
” She nodded.
“So is it serious?” she asked, her eyes on mine.
“Is what serious?” “You and him,” she said, like it was obvious.
“It’s kinda hard for me to get my head around it, to be honest.
” I drank some more coke-tinted rum.
“Did he tell you?” I asked hollowly.
Look, Ally, I won’t tell anyone, okay? And it’s probably none of my business.
In fact, it definitely isn’t my business.
” She shook her head.
“Forget I said anything.
” “But how do you even know?” She smiled.
“Just the way you looked at each other.
” Her hand touched my arm.
Why don’t we change the subject? Where’d you work?” It didn’t take long for her to spin a conversation.
We even exchanged phone numbers.
For a while, I forgot all about Scott.
Amber told me about growing up in California, going to dance school, then studying law at university.
She’d worked in business for years.
She’d never been married, but had been stood up at the altar once.
“It was my wake-up call,” she said, brushing off my shocked sympathies.
“I was so embarrassed and angry that I ran away and went on my honeymoon alone.
Then I quit my job and started teaching kids to swim.
Honestly, Ally, it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me at that point in my life.
Now I’m happy, you know? I feel like I’m helping people and I’m having fun, I’m not stressed out all the time and I’m surrounded by wonderful people.
Everything works out in the end.
” She shrugged.
“Besides, being single is the best, isn’t it? No-one to report back to.
You can go on dates, flirt as much as you like.
It’s pure freedom.
” “But wouldn’t you ever want to – I don’t know – settle down? If you met someone ideal?” She smiled.
“Ally, I meet ideal men all the time.
But men are crazy.
The older they get, the crazier they get.
Chasing things that don’t ever materialise.
Some of them really need to wake up.
But it’s not my job to push the alarm.
You can’t control another person, what they think, what they do.
You just have to live with it, right?” She shrugged.
I need to go call my aunt.
Or else she’ll have a heart attack when I show up at her front door tomorrow.
” I watched her head through the party.
I’d only met her an hour ago but I already loved her.
I knew without a shadow of doubt, that she’d find a way into Scott.
Women are smart.
Women like Amber were really smart.
Scott was already falling and he didn’t even know it but she did.
And she’d find a way to make him realise.
And maybe they’d live happily ever after.
I wanted to hold onto him but it was selfish.
If you can’t give someone what they need, you can’t keep taking up their time.
Of course, we had a good time.
We had a fantastic time.
I’d never met anyone who made me feel the way he did.
But what was it? Hotel rooms, text messages, a string of fantasies.
When we were together, it was as though no one else existed.
But people did exist.
And the age gap existed.
And our separate lives existed.
And all of that added up to more than sex.
Because life is more than sex, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
I knew this and yet just the thought of his name lighting up my phone made my heart beat a little faster.
I loved the physicality of our relationship.
The push-pull, the violent romance, the secret intensity of it.
Closed doors and sweaty skin and words that didn’t come out as words but as moans and gasps.
I didn’t want to let go of him.
I wanted to keep doing what we were doing.
But then there was the sensible section of my brain, the part that seemed to go mute whenever Scott walked into the room.
He was a quarter century older than me.
We were never going to be in an official relationship.
And of course, I wanted somebody to spend the rest of my life with.
He lived on the other side of the country.
My phone made a sound and I fumbled through my bag to find it.
I’m in the study.
I stared at the words.
Of course, I could ignore him.
I could drink some more and talk and pretend it was a regular Christmas party and that I hadn’t been dreaming of him.
He didn’t make sense.
If I had half a brain, I should stay away from him.
He needed someone like Amber.
Not even ‘someone like’.
He needed Amber Lake.
But what about what I needed? Did I need him? No.
But I wanted him.
I wanted the feel of his body, the low sound of his voice when he was deep inside me.
I was walking quickly, hurrying out into the hall and heading for the study.
This would be the last time, I told myself.
The last time.
And then I’d tell him it wasn’t right and we had to stop.
But I needed something to remember.
A high to end it on.
God, I had zero self-control! I pushed open the heavy door and slipped inside.
Scott was sipping whiskey and looking out of the window.
I locked the door.
“You took your time,” he said, not turning around.
“I was talking to Amber,” I said.
It wasn’t entirely true, but I wanted to see his reaction.
He turned and put his glass down on the desk.
“Why don’t you come over here?” he asked.
I remembered, with a flush, that the last time the two of us had been in the study, I’d been crawling around on my hands and knees.
I walked towards him hurriedly, in case he got the idea back in his head.
“I like your dress,” he said.
” He caught my chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilted it up so we were looking at each other.
“Did you miss me?” he asked, a smile lifting his mouth.
” His smiled widened.
His grip on my chin tightened and he brought his mouth down on mine hard.
Instinctively, my hands went up around his neck, fingers dragging into his hair.
It was a hungry, desperate kiss.
Of course I’d missed him.
How could anyone not miss the taste of his mouth, his sweeping tongue, the feeling of losing all control? His hands moved down to my ass and squeezed it hard, making me gasp into his mouth.
He moved forward, forcing me to step back until I was bumped up against the desk and then he was pushing me down onto it, his hands moving to pull up my dress, until it was around my waist.
His eyes travelled slowly down my legs.
“I’ve missed this,” he breathed.
“And I know you have too.
” He was standing between my legs and his hand moved to tug my panties to the side.
He moved fast, freeing his cock from his pants and before I knew what was happening, he was pushing inside me.
My eyes closed instinctively and he pushed in hard, forcing me to open them again.
“Oh, god!” I wanted to touch him, feel his body pressing against mine but we were both still almost fully clothed and besides, he was standing up, too far away.
He slammed into me hard, and I was pushed up the desk a little.
His hands gripped my waist and he pulled me back down so his cock was buried deep inside me.
Then he held me tightly, not giving me an inch to move as he drove into me over and over.
It felt so smooth, so natural, and so goddamn good.
“You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?” he breathed.
“Did you watch all those videos, princess? Did they make you wet?” I didn’t speak and he pulled out of me suddenly, making me gasp.
“You really need to learn to answer when I ask you a question,” he growled.
“Get on your knees.
” I felt a little dazed, confused, even.
All I wanted was for him to be inside me again.
I hurriedly moved onto my hands and knees and he pushed my dress up, sliding down my panties and untangling them from one leg and then the other.
The scrap of black lace ended up on the carpet a few feet away from me.
I felt his hand caress my bare ass almost thoughtfully.
Online Now! Lush Cams GwenBerr I knew what was coming but no amount of foreboding could have stopped me gasping when his palm cracked down.
“Fuck!” He sighed.
How many times have I told you about watching your mouth, kitten?” Every part of me clenched as he spanked me again, his palm warming and stinging my ass.
There was something so pure about.